Top MitTEN: The Few, The Bald, The Free

As we all know so well, today marks a very important observance in America: National “Be Bald and Be Free” Day. Now, before we all start pouring drinks and getting our celebrations underway, let’s take a moment to reflect upon some of the great bald men (thankfully, they are all men) in recent Michigan history.

10. Kicking off our list is TV host Jamie Hyneman, mainly because, well, we love his mustache. Born in the town of Marshall outside of Battle Creek, Hyneman got his start as a special effects expert before earning his fame hosting the popular TV show Mythbusters.

9. Measuring up at number nine is actor Verne Troyer. Appearing in several noteworthy films over his career, Troyer is perhaps most famous for his roles in the Austin Powers films as the character “Mini-Me”. Troyer was born in Sturgis, Michigan.

Photo by Pete Morawski.
Verne Troyer. Photo by Pete Morawski.

8. As I type this in a Word document, I must ponder why I placed the former Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer so low on this list. Ballmer, who was born in Detroit and raised in nearby Farmington Hills, spent 14 years as the CEO of the software giant, before purchasing the Los Angeles Clippers just two months ago. He’s also bald. Very bald.

7. Maybe we should Tweet this number, because coming in at the seventh position is Twitter CEO Dick Costolo. A graduate of the University of Michigan, Costolo was born in Royal Oak. Oh, fun fact: shortly after earning his computer science degree, Costolo decided to move to Chicago and try his luck with improv comedy—landing a spot in a little group called Second City beside a young man by the name of Steve Carell.

6. Ever heard of this guy at number six? Floyd Mayweather, Jr.? No, we didn’t think so. The 37 year-old Grand Rapids native is just a worldwide boxing phenom, claiming all 47 bouts in his career while knocking out 26 of his opponents. “Undisputed Champion” is a drastic understatement.

Magic Johnson. Photo by Wendy Greuel.

5. While he isn’t a native of the state, we’re going to give Mike Tirico a break at number five. The sports commentator, who is slated to call some of ESPN and ABC’s most high-profile events, including Monday Night Football and The Masters, resides outside of Ann Arbor with his wife and two kids. There is no hair on his head.

4. It’s clear to see why this musician finds himself in the number four spot—Stevie Wonder not only produced some of the greatest music of his generation, but did so without his eyesight! A major player in Motown, Wonder won over fans with hits like Superstition and You Are the Sunshine of My Life. Wonder was born in Saginaw in 1950.

3. Maybe the most visible celebrity on this list, the number three slot goes to one of the greatest basketball players ever to step on the court—Magic Johnson. His prolific career has made him a one-name icon: it’s simply Magic. Born and raised in Lansing, Magic spent two years at Michigan State University—because that’s all it took for him to make the Spartans national champions. With an unfortunate early end to his playing career, Michiganders will always hold a place in their hearts for the bald basketball hero.

Ernie Harwell. Photo by Joel Dinda.
Ernie Harwell. Photo by Joel Dinda.

2. Okay, number two wasn’t born in Michigan either, but who could deny legendary Detroit Tigers broadcaster Ernie Harwell his claim to the Mitten State? With a voice like his (on the radio), you would have never known this man was even missing his hair! The great Harwell served 42 seasons as the Detroit Tigers radio voice before spending his remaining days in the Detroit suburbs.

1. Drum roll please… The “Number One Bald Dude From Michigan” Award goes to the late great President of the United States, Gerald Ford, in what many people are calling the highest honor one can possibly receive. Appearing on a presidential ballot or not (he never did), the Grand Rapids native and Michigan alumnus undoubtedly outshined the previous nine “Great Bald Michigan Men” on this list. It must be something about that last name in Michigan that sets you up for sterling success!

Gerald Ford. Photo by Cliff.

So there you have it, the top mitTEN bald men in recent Michigan history. Okay, you may now embark on your holiday festivities. Let the “National Be Bald and Be Free Day” celebration begin!


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